Friends

[alterin]

I've noticed a pattern. It would seem that I'm a substitute for a significant other. I'm the best friend ever for single people. They all seem to disappear completely once they "find somebody". I'm like Good Luck Chuck except I don't have to sleep with you, and you might not be getting married. Karen only ever showed up between boyfriends. Kim disappeared once she found her first serious girlfriend. Tiffany claims she was busy with school and couldn't be bothered to be... "friendly", but really she started dating her now husband. Christina and Frank... well Christina and Frank 'nuff said there. And now Pei, she was the best friend ever. But really she was just waiting for Amber to sweep her off her feet. I havn't seen her in over a month now. I fought hard to get to hang out in the beginning, but I didn't like who I was becoming. So I stopped, and well that stopped her wanting to hang out. C'est la vie.
I've always been proud of the fact that when I'm in a relationship, I don't ditch my friends. But maybe it's just because I havn't been in the right relationship. Maybe that's the real reason why I've been able to keep people involved. I just havn't found the chick that makes me want to ditch the someone that plays my role in things.

Comments

[spikdangel.livejournal.com]

I don't think you should have to leave your friends when you are in a relationship.
That always bugged me too... when friends disappear due to relationship status change.

I think girls are more inclined to do it, but occasionally guys do it to.

[alterin]

I've always been a "I don't have many friends, but I make up for it in quality!" kinda guy. But apparently not cause everyone leaves. I serve my purpose, and they move on. I don't know. Maybe I'll understand one day.

[nightsinautumn.livejournal.com]

Hey. I don't even know if you remember me, but I agree with you.. I don't understand why people feel the need to stop hanging out with their friends when they date someone.

Also, if it makes you feel any better.. I am either the girl everyone wants to be "just friends with" or "sleep with". Le sigh.

[cherokee.livejournal.com]

When some people get in a relationship the SO is jealous of their "other ties." Especially opposite gender ones. So without thinking the person stops talking to their friends. I blame feelings for this. Romantic love is a much stronger feeling than friendly love.

The best thing to do is not change who you are just to have someone to hang out with. Be happy with yourself. And always remember that relationships are transitory - they come and go but there will always be someone who's your friend.

This is all coming from someone who can totally relate. I never put forth extreme effort to get & keep a friend mainly because I know they'll always leave me behind. I've just changed my perceptions and realized how people really are.