(no subject)

i think i might cut my hair.. short... very short... and go clean shaven.. and try to keep it shaven for a bit.. i need a change.. something anything... i went to flaw/third strike tonight with my cousin... i saw this chick who reminded me.. so much of vanessa.. i miss her... thinking about it.. i can't really imagine why... she really wasn't all that great of a friend to me in the end... yeah sure... we were 'best friends' and a string of boyfriends.. knew that i was her friend.. in some ways more than they could ever be.. of course they were most certainly in ways i couldn't be. kinky.... but the last one.. i guess he was something special.. he could almost ask her of me.. do you know him? ..wiped non-existant.. not part of the equation... my 'best friend' ... she was the best i ever had..