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Apr. 22nd, 2003
Off of askmen.com
Apr. 22nd, 2003 11:30 amYou Know You're Living In The '00s When...
April 15th, 2003 (No.1323)
AskMen.com Rates This Joke: 8/10
1. You have five passwords, but can only remember one.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you automatically push "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
9. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
10. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
11. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
12. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
13. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
14. Board members' salaries are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
15. Interviewees, despite not having relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
16. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
17. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up.
18. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
19. Your relatives and family describe your job as "he works with computers."
And the clinchers are:
20. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
21. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends."
22. You think your "jokes group" may have already seen this list, but you don't have time to check so you forward it anyway.
23. You got this e-mail from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the Net.
24. This e-mail has 20 different disclaimer notes at the bottom, telling you that the information is confidential, but you forward it anyway.
April 15th, 2003 (No.1323)
AskMen.com Rates This Joke: 8/10
1. You have five passwords, but can only remember one.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail your buddy who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends is that they do not have e-mail addresses.
6. When you go home after a long day at work you still answer the phone in a business manner.
7. When you make phone calls from home, you automatically push "9" to get an outside line.
8. You've sat at the same desk for four years and worked for three different companies.
9. Your company's welcome sign is attached with Velcro.
10. Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket.
11. Your biggest loss from a system crash was when you lost all of your best jokes.
12. Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
13. Contractors outnumber permanent staff and are more likely to get long-service awards.
14. Board members' salaries are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined.
15. Interviewees, despite not having relevant knowledge or experience, terminate the interview when told of the starting salary.
16. Free food left over from meetings is your staple diet.
17. Your supervisor gets a brand-new state-of-the-art laptop with all the latest features, while you have time to go for lunch while yours boots up.
18. There's no money in the budget for the five permanent staff your department desperately needs, but they can afford four full-time management consultants advising your boss's boss on strategy.
19. Your relatives and family describe your job as "he works with computers."
And the clinchers are:
20. You read this entire list, and kept nodding and smiling.
21. As you read this list, you think about forwarding it to your "friends."
22. You think your "jokes group" may have already seen this list, but you don't have time to check so you forward it anyway.
23. You got this e-mail from a friend that never talks to you anymore, except to send you jokes from the Net.
24. This e-mail has 20 different disclaimer notes at the bottom, telling you that the information is confidential, but you forward it anyway.