Drunken Clarity

So there is a girl involved, but she's not the focus. In retarded moves 101, I let out too much... drunkenly but that's no excuse. As consolation, I pointed out... this is as deep as I get, yes I kinda roller coastered here quickly, but this is as deep as I get. I don't fall anymore, not for.. well.. I've never been that far. I get there quick, and then I just decidedly coast....Like I said though the girl is not the focus. The fact that that is how I am in relationships isn't the focus. That is way to narrow... The focus is... that's the way I am in -everything- I do. Anything I set out to do, anything I try to do... everything I do... I learn quick. I learn fast. In almost no time at all, I'm better than most of my peers at everything I attempt. I don't need try. I don't need to practice. I just start and there I am. Well that's great right? That's awesome? That's a gift, right? The problem is I didn't try to get as far as I did. I was just there. It came naturally.. I learned the concept, and everything made sense... I don't know how to... try. I don't know how to put work into something. I don't know how to give it my all. I just never had to, and now this whole concept of dedication- of working towards an end- doesn't make sense. I don't get it. I feel like those characters in movies, books, etc. I feel like... will hunting. So much potential so many gifts, but he can't answer one simple question... What do you want?