Look me in the eyes! Look at me while I’m talking to you! Show some respect. What does eye contact mean? When you’re talking to someone, looking them in the eyes is a sign of respect. It’s a sign of honesty. It’s a good show of character. Eye contact is respectable. It shows self-confidence.
I use to look people in the eyes while talking to them, not in a creepy way, it is possible to stare a little too hard. But I looked at people in the eyes while talking to them, in a respectable polite way. And then I began working at South Point. It wasn’t a sudden change. It happened gradually. I have a hard time looking people in the eyes while I talk to them. It does happen, but it happens rarely. And it’s a concentrated effort, and I can’t hold it for long. I miss it.
So why the change? What changed? What happened? I lost respect. I lost respect for people. I lost respect for myself. At work, I no longer expect the person that walks up to me to have a heart. I no longer expect the person that walks up to me to have a soul. I expect a scum bag, the lowliest of the low. And at South Point 90% of the time, I’m correct. The person standing in front of me is a scum bag. He is the lowliest of the low. He is a complete piece of shit. I don’t have any respect for them. I don’t want them to be anywhere near me. I have this secret fear that he’ll walk up behind me and stab a knife in my back. I instantly want the person in front of me to walk away. I have completely lost respect for everyone that walks up to me. Through training, I have lost respect for humanity as a whole. And as a result, I’ve lost respect for myself. So while I’m talking to you, I’m looking off into space to the side of your head. I’m looking at the ground. I’m looking at my hands. Disrespectfully. Dishonestly.

In case you're not on facebook....

Things that were cut from the senate's stimulus package I dare you to find something that actually has anything to do with possibly stimulating the economy. Jesus freaking christ that's a lot of earmarks. The ones that weren't cut are probably even more scary. Freaking bastard politicians.

So this is what I'm looking at for the first leg of my journey...


View Larger Map

Starting at noonish on September 2nd. Bluewater lake for that night. Lake arrowhead for the second night.. And my cousins house for the third.

Erm I think that might end up being my return route.. Well I'd start from my friends house in brandon, ms... to lake arrowhead.. to bluewater.. to home so this..


View Larger Map

And then I'll make a more southerly route there

Edit: Okay so the route there is now


View Larger Map

I'll actually get a motel in lordsburg, nm. And then camp out at the south llano river state park, before heading into lake charles

I know some of you whippersnappers might be unable to believe it, but way back when in the year 2002, soda was only 2.50 a 12 pack! ... Target has pepsi products 4 for$10.. I bought 12!

Okay, I deal this game called dice. Now on it, there is this bet called a pass line bet. The dice are thrown and the next number is then the point. You can then take odds on your pass line bet. With me, so far? No? Okay, so you have this bet on the pass line. You can take now take “odds” on the pass line bet. So you have a line bet and an odds bet. The odds bet is limited to what we at Southpoint call two times odds. So if you have 1x on the pass line, you can take 2x on the odds. Now, here's the problem. We don't actually completely limit you to two times odds. We limit you as follows... Well here lets take the problem of the 5 and 9 first. On the 5 and 9, you can take 8 chips to every 3 chips. So if you have 3 dollars, you can take 8 dollars. Or if you bet one five dollar chip. You can bet twelve dollars. Now think about that for a second. If you bet 3 dollars, you can bet 8 dollars. If you bet 5 dollars, you can take 12 dollars. Does that make sense to anyone? With 3 dollars you can take 8 dollars, so with 6 dollars you can take 16 dollars. Yet with 5 dollars you can take only 12 dollars. Wait a minute, there's a problem here! That doesn't even remotely make any sense! So.. for any given bet depending on how you do your math, you could have retarded different kinds of max odds. For example, if you have 15 dollars, you can take 40, and if you have 30 dollars you can take 80. But if you have 45, you can't take 120 because you need 50 to take 120. But he said I can take... But he said I can only take. But you said I could take yesterday. But YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING IDIOTS!

Describe an object or place that symbolizes an important person or relationship in your life.

There are not many places are objects that symbolize the relationships with those I care about. My relationships have a domain hidden deep within my memories some real and some imagined. Sounds can evoke these at will or rather at gun point, but the details of my sight can not bring forth these images. In fact these images are hardly those that can be visualized. They flirt and dance just out sight letting forth a cackling mocking laughter. They seem to speak to me like the schizophrenic visions of a blind man, yet I'm holding a one way conversation with responses I can not remember split seconds after they were heard. I responded to something though, how else can my conversation be interpreted?

So.. the trip is overwith kinda at this point. We're chilling in a hotel room near the french quarter. We stayed here in a single room for the last night and we fly back in 6 hours. I'm kinda screwed cause I was listening to my headphones last night to sleep cause.. these two in the bed next to me. INSANE! OMG they're like synchronized snorers. It's a constant hum one and then the other. They're still passed out and I wanna go exploring, but.. my phone's dead!

So overall it was a good trip. MS isn't as bad as I remember. It's a lot more green, and.. the hospitality thing is refreshing(although, I know what's really lurking beneath!). I was never really hurting for much to do. I saw katie again! It's kinda weird.. We were never that close when I lived here, and now for both trips, I've seen/hung out with her more than anyone really. Naomi is good, and she's pregnant again number two on the way! Somehow, i didn't get any pictures of either of them... oh well.

Our mom was doing well... My grandma was out visiting for a month.. Her last day was our second day here.. We wanted her to stay. Jim would have paid for an extension on her ticket, but she wanted to go home. April 21, 2008 she was hit by a motorcyclist on a Harley while in a marked crosswalk. She was in the ICU for 8 hours. April 22, 2008 she passed away. Except for moments, I'm doing very well. I feel like I should be more upset, but I'm more worried about my family than anything else. I don't believe in any of that afterlife bullshit, but.. she lived a great life. GIrl had 8 sons and daughters who mostly were successful and happy. She had a great many grandchildren and even a few great grandchildren. So that's that.

Kim... well maybe I'll mention that later. We did better. We're doing better. We'll do better.

I like how he checks for traffic!

Oh yeah... I did this yesterday